SEX & LOVE ADDICTION TREATMENT OPTIONS:
5 stages of Grief, Fight Flight Freeze & The Sub-conscious
SEX & LOVE ADDICTION…ROOTED IN ARRESTED EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT
…Un-resolved childhood developmental tasks “leave a life-long residue of emotional immaturity.
— Erik Homburger Erikson (1902-1994)
YOUR SEX & LOVE ADDICTION ISSUE STARTS IN CHILDHOOD
Children grow and develop (debatably) in 8 stages. Each developmental stage involves a set of emotional needs that should be met by parents or caregivers. The degree to which these developmental needs were not adequately met is the degree to which an adult may be emotionally arrested.
Arrested emotional development means that behaviors, beliefs, or emotions connected to unresolved childhood experiences could still be triggered today.
Once triggered the now adult reacts like the age of the child when emotionally arrested.
For example, an adult who feel confident one minute may, after something upsetting happens, suddenly see the world through the eyes of a sad, angry, or fearful child.
Arrested emotional development explains why adults have behaviors, beliefs, or emotions that they do not like, or want, but they feel compelled in or cannot stop.
THE CAUSE OF ARRESTED EMOTIONS…
An adult may have arrested emotional development after experiencing the following as a child:
Verbal, physical, and/or sexual abuse;
Physical and/or emotional neglect;
Unmet emotional needs; and/or
Incompetent or inadequate parenting
Drug and alcohol use in adolescence
A child may get arrested emotional development even if loving, well-meaning parents fail to parent well enough because…
A child’s needs are particularly complex or vague
A parent has unresolved emotional issues,
A parent is under extreme stress, and/or
There are family hardships that make it impossible for parents to meet needs he/she would otherwise be able to meet (e.g. financial problems, health problems, natural disasters, and even warfare).
A CHILDS MIND ISN’T AN ADULT MIND…
Children can get confused (by their parents and other adults) when their needs are ignored, misunderstood, or trivialized – intentionally or unintentionally…bottom-line…the child will grow up feeling secure or a child may grow up feeling damaged. Or not good enough!
A child experiences most of what I’ve listed above as a trauma. To heal from a trauma requires many to go through…
…Un-resolved childhood developmental tasks “leave a life-long residue of emotional immaturity.
— Erik Homburger Erikson (1902-1994)
YOUR SEX & LOVE ADDICTION ISSUE STARTS IN CHILDHOOD
Children grow and develop (debatably) in 8 stages. Each developmental stage involves a set of emotional needs that should be met by parents or caregivers. The degree to which these developmental needs were not adequately met is the degree to which an adult may be emotionally arrested.
Arrested emotional development means that behaviors, beliefs, or emotions connected to unresolved childhood experiences could still be triggered today.
Once triggered the now adult reacts like the age of the child when emotionally arrested.
For example, an adult who feel confident one minute may, after something upsetting happens, suddenly see the world through the eyes of a sad, angry, or fearful child.
Arrested emotional development explains why adults have behaviors, beliefs, or emotions that they do not like, or want, but they feel compelled in or cannot stop.
THE CAUSE OF ARRESTED EMOTIONS…
An adult may have arrested emotional development after experiencing the following as a child:
Verbal, physical, and/or sexual abuse;
Physical and/or emotional neglect;
Unmet emotional needs; and/or
Incompetent or inadequate parenting
Drug and alcohol use in adolescence
A child may get arrested emotional development even if loving, well-meaning parents fail to parent well enough because…
A child’s needs are particularly complex or vague
A parent has unresolved emotional issues,
A parent is under extreme stress, and/or
There are family hardships that make it impossible for parents to meet needs he/she would otherwise be able to meet (e.g. financial problems, health problems, natural disasters, and even warfare).
A CHILDS MIND ISN’T AN ADULT MIND…
Children can get confused (by their parents and other adults) when their needs are ignored, misunderstood, or trivialized – intentionally or unintentionally…bottom-line…the child will grow up feeling secure or a child may grow up feeling damaged. Or not good enough!
A child experiences most of what I’ve listed above as a trauma. To heal from a trauma requires many to go through…
The Five Stages of Grief…missed in childhood for many…
The Kübler-Ross model, commonly known as The Five Stages of Grief include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In no defined sequence, general individual experience of most of these stages occurs when faced with trauma.
Arrested emotions develop when children experience emotional traumas and don’t process the trauma through many of the 5 stages of grief (above).
IT IS MY BELIEF THAT THE MAJORITY OF ADULTS…with arrested emotions (and the symptoms we call unwanted behaviors, beliefs, and reactive parts) come from arrested emotional development in their parents and caregivers from their parent’s childhood.
These same behaviors, beliefs, and emotions can be immortalized by the child’s acceptance of their parents (poor emotional) values past on generationally – both in childhood while the parents are still around, and in adulthood, long after the parent/caregivers are gone.
Arrested emotions develop when children experience emotional traumas and don’t process the trauma through many of the 5 stages of grief (above).
IT IS MY BELIEF THAT THE MAJORITY OF ADULTS…with arrested emotions (and the symptoms we call unwanted behaviors, beliefs, and reactive parts) come from arrested emotional development in their parents and caregivers from their parent’s childhood.
These same behaviors, beliefs, and emotions can be immortalized by the child’s acceptance of their parents (poor emotional) values past on generationally – both in childhood while the parents are still around, and in adulthood, long after the parent/caregivers are gone.
fight-or-flight-or-freeze
Arrested Emotions and The fight-or-flight response coming out of the subconscious.
The fight-or-flight response we also call the fight-or-flight-or-freeze response, hyper-arousal, or the acute stress response was first described by Walter Bradford Cannon.
Science has shown that this response comes out of the subconscious mind (in the back of the brain for humans). The reactions then go through neural pathways to the conscious mind…reactions to keeping safe…but are arrested emotions safe really?
Cannon’s theory states that animals and humans react to threats with a general discharge of the sympathetic nervous system, priming the animal for fighting or fleeing.
This response was later recognized as the first stage of a general adaptation syndrome that regulates stress responses among vertebrates and other organisms.
Humans are special…emotionally…
Humans and animals react to physical dangers…however because of self-awareness humans also react to emotional safety from this part of the mind. The arrested emotion gets programmed into reaction of fight, flight…freeze.
Arrested emotions in this case are the ‘anchor’ or ‘resource state’ that adults with arrested emotions use subconsciously for their emotional reaction to triggers of safety and love (of themselves and others). Are arrested emotions safe and loving…not really…
The fight-or-flight response we also call the fight-or-flight-or-freeze response, hyper-arousal, or the acute stress response was first described by Walter Bradford Cannon.
Science has shown that this response comes out of the subconscious mind (in the back of the brain for humans). The reactions then go through neural pathways to the conscious mind…reactions to keeping safe…but are arrested emotions safe really?
Cannon’s theory states that animals and humans react to threats with a general discharge of the sympathetic nervous system, priming the animal for fighting or fleeing.
This response was later recognized as the first stage of a general adaptation syndrome that regulates stress responses among vertebrates and other organisms.
Humans are special…emotionally…
Humans and animals react to physical dangers…however because of self-awareness humans also react to emotional safety from this part of the mind. The arrested emotion gets programmed into reaction of fight, flight…freeze.
Arrested emotions in this case are the ‘anchor’ or ‘resource state’ that adults with arrested emotions use subconsciously for their emotional reaction to triggers of safety and love (of themselves and others). Are arrested emotions safe and loving…not really…
The key is your Subconscious...
Arrested emotional development and the subconscious programs of true emotional safety and love.
Neural Pathways and science have the answers…to how it all starts…
The strengths or weaknesses in a relationship between a parent and a child will affect the emotional development of the child’s brain.
Loving, well-adjusted parents will always have a positive influence on the way a young brain develops the neural pathways that accelerate the self-regulation of emotions that are programmed into the subconscious.
When unconditional love is present, these neural pathways ensure that a child will be able to explore the world, separate from parents, and mature in healthy ways.
If these neural pathways are not formed (arrested emotions), or not formed well enough, a child will grow up feeling damaged or insecure, and the development of normal behaviors, thinking and emotions may be impaired.
This brings me to...
The TREATMENT FOR ARESTED EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT…
Here is my recommendation:
The Liberator Method
Psychotherapist Rhonda Christensen while working discovered THE LIBERATOR METHOD (TLM) with self-mutilators and addicts back around 2000.
Over the last 12 years TLM psychotherapists have designed and expanded the treatment to present-day adults with problems that originated with unmet childhood needs (which led to many adults with arrested emotional development).
TLM has been found helpful for treating… narcissism, codependency, addiction, depression, anxiety, panic disorder, social anxiety/phobias, Agoraphobia, substance abuse, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), relationship issues, obsession & compulsion disorder, sexual abuse, food and eating disorders, dissociative disorders, borderline personality disorder (BPD), sexual and porn addiction, self-destructive behavior (cutting) and grief/loss.
TLM has also been used to resolve the past memories of agonizing physical, emotional, or sexual traumas that were inflicted by another.
For more about TLM click here: http://theliberatormethod.com
TLM psychotherapy appears to construct – in arrested emotions in adults – the neural pathways for the regulation of emotions that should have been formed in childhood.
After TLM psychotherapy, clients report feeling more integrated and whole, and better able to manage their emotions. When the healing is complete, TLM clients report the ‘child parts’ feeling totally released or resolved…all emotionally grown up.
As a result, it is my belief that neural integration or generation is accomplishing the resulting ‘emotional repair’ in the brain in the subconscious and between the subconscious and conscious mind.
Bottom-line is it works!
For more about TLM click here: http://theliberatormethod.com
Neural Pathways and science have the answers…to how it all starts…
The strengths or weaknesses in a relationship between a parent and a child will affect the emotional development of the child’s brain.
Loving, well-adjusted parents will always have a positive influence on the way a young brain develops the neural pathways that accelerate the self-regulation of emotions that are programmed into the subconscious.
When unconditional love is present, these neural pathways ensure that a child will be able to explore the world, separate from parents, and mature in healthy ways.
If these neural pathways are not formed (arrested emotions), or not formed well enough, a child will grow up feeling damaged or insecure, and the development of normal behaviors, thinking and emotions may be impaired.
This brings me to...
The TREATMENT FOR ARESTED EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT…
Here is my recommendation:
The Liberator Method
Psychotherapist Rhonda Christensen while working discovered THE LIBERATOR METHOD (TLM) with self-mutilators and addicts back around 2000.
Over the last 12 years TLM psychotherapists have designed and expanded the treatment to present-day adults with problems that originated with unmet childhood needs (which led to many adults with arrested emotional development).
TLM has been found helpful for treating… narcissism, codependency, addiction, depression, anxiety, panic disorder, social anxiety/phobias, Agoraphobia, substance abuse, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), relationship issues, obsession & compulsion disorder, sexual abuse, food and eating disorders, dissociative disorders, borderline personality disorder (BPD), sexual and porn addiction, self-destructive behavior (cutting) and grief/loss.
TLM has also been used to resolve the past memories of agonizing physical, emotional, or sexual traumas that were inflicted by another.
For more about TLM click here: http://theliberatormethod.com
TLM psychotherapy appears to construct – in arrested emotions in adults – the neural pathways for the regulation of emotions that should have been formed in childhood.
After TLM psychotherapy, clients report feeling more integrated and whole, and better able to manage their emotions. When the healing is complete, TLM clients report the ‘child parts’ feeling totally released or resolved…all emotionally grown up.
As a result, it is my belief that neural integration or generation is accomplishing the resulting ‘emotional repair’ in the brain in the subconscious and between the subconscious and conscious mind.
Bottom-line is it works!
For more about TLM click here: http://theliberatormethod.com